March Is Here

Well . . .   It's March again and all I can say is I have mixed emotions.

I turn 47 this month.

These past couple years, I've not really enjoyed my birthdays, but that isn't to say I've dreaded them either.  Instead they just sort of came and went without much thought one way or the other.  I guess that is to be expected given the circumstances. . .

But this year there is a different mix of feelings to deal with.  On the one hand I am getting ever closer to 50.  If you have never thought about what that means, think of it this way:  If you live to be 100, 50 means your life is half over. But many people don't live to be 100.  In my family, many of my parents siblings have managed to live into their 90s. Mostly those final years have been good years - so that's good...  But many others have struggled with illness and have left this world much earlier.  My own father died before he turned 70 . . .

On the other hand, I have a lot to be thankful for, and very much to be proud of as I reach my 47th birthday. I have a couple great kids who continue to do well and have a pretty good idea of what they want to do with their lives.  I have endured the monumental challenges that have tested my metle these last couple years and have found that I am stronger, more capable and more resiliant than I ever imagined. . .

And so I find that I am not really all that worried that I'm turning 47 in this month.  Yes, it makes me think from time to time about how much (or how little?) of life there might be left for me, but that only serves to remind me to live the best life I can now.  There is no time for worry or regrets. Worry only makes the hours drag by and amplifies the misery of every fretfull second.  Dwelling on regrets is a huge time waster and may dammage the spirit and confine me to less than my potential if I start to define myself by the mistakes of the past.

Better to remember the lessons I learned from my mistakes and, using that hard won wisdom, go with renewed confidence into the day