Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Lemonade Turned out Sour

Wow!  What a whirlwind!  It seems inconceivable that nearly a year has passed since I last posted here.  Trust me when I say a lot has happened between then and now.  In fact that is an understatement of the highest order . . . There is so much to tell it is difficult to know where to start. So let me begin with this statement:

"It was a period of tremendous growth and learning for me."

Uh Oh!  If you have been around the block a few times, you probably recognize that sentence is often uttered by someone who has undergone a monumental hardship, great personal tragedy, or is referring to their childhood. Well I can tell you that all are true and I hope to share some of that stuff with you here.

But let me start here. A few minutes ago, as I was rereading my last few posts, it struck me that my blogging reflects something about me that has actually made the last several months more difficult to endure. I noticed what is probably painfully obvious to you - that as I was enduring a time of great adversity I didn't post anything here.  That is to say I didn't share with you what was going on with me; not in this forum - and what I realize now -  not with those people closest to me in real life either. I seemed to loose the desire, no - the ability - to share my thoughts and feelings when those thoughts were filled anxiety and anguish, when those feelings were of pain, or loss, or fear; times when I felt vulnerable or needy.  And that my friends is exactly what the problem was . . . is . . . well we'll see.

So . . . what's been going on with me then?  Well, I'll tell you . . .


Sorry.  It's getting late and I want to get a bike ride in without having to worry about it getting dark.  Oh, yeah - bicycling . .  one of the new, old things in my life.  I've loved to ride since I got my first hand-me-down Schwinn bike back in the 70s. It was left behind by some tenants when they moved out of my Aunt's rental house.  My dad had it fixed up and I learned to ride it out back of the gas station where he worked.  (I ran into a parked pickup showing off that I had finally learned how to balance the thing, but had not yet learned the importance of watching where one is going!) Cycling quickly became more than a fleeting passion and after a few years of saving up lawn mowing money I bought a really nice, lightweight bike and started riding many miles on the local bike trails and in organized rides.  Anyway, getting married and having kids meant moving and that turned out to be very bad for my bike riding passion.  It died.

Anyway, present circumstances have allowed me to revive that passion in a big way.

And that, my friends, is a teaser as to what future blog posts may bring!